The Defendant: The banker formerly known as Fleet
The Crime(s): Aggravated Telemarketing Assault, Hostage Marketing, Reckless Branding
While off-duty, the officer had to call his bank to activate new cards. The reason for the new cards (there was nothing wrong with the old ones) is that we now have to start using the newly branded cards so we can expunge all memory of Fleet from the world. I guess those guys over at 
thought it would be a good idea for everyone to get real up-close and cozy with the new brand. I guess they were kind of hoping that the brand and brand cop would become good buddies.
So, I called to activate my card and, instead of a rapid confirmation welcoming me to the new bank, I got marketed at for about 2 or 3 minutes. Now, I know that is not very long, but I was pissed! Bear in mind that I had two cards, so I had to go through this twice! I can't hang up until they confirm that my cards are activated and they are refusing to do that until they have pitched me some useless, value-free service....the message begins by trying to scare me into signing up, by pointing out how identity theft is on the rise and how their subscription service will protect me blah blah blah. Just to compound the crime, when I pressed the "get lost" button the first time, they still did not let it go! I had to listen to more drivel until finally I got the activation confirmation message. Way to go guys! The push-marketers response to the decline of push marketing is to assume you have permission to annoy people just because you have forced them to call you. And the more they push, the more people get annoyed and tune out........
Original idea for brand cop inspired by Brian Sack's hilarious "Grammar Cop" found at Brian's site The Banterist. I would like to add that this is not an attempt to be as funny as Brian: such an attempt would be futile.
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